Let's Spread Some Positivity...

Spreading positivity is easy and on top of that, it's contagious.  If you practice positivity on a daily basis, you'll see that the people you come in contact with regularly will fall in line right behind you.  I'd like to see more people use these steps to spread positivity.  If you do it, you'll see how it can change the atmosphere for you and everyone else.


Number one:  Once I found out that sharing a positive message was fun and infectious, I thought about the fact that sharing negativity and complaints was just as infectious.  Do you really want to extend a negative atmosphere?  Or would you rather replace it with a positive atmosphere?  Hold on to your gripes and complaints.  Keep your judgments and your irritations to yourself.  It doesn't help anyone when you fire off those "negativity bullets."  The people you complain about become negative, the people who read or hear your gripes become negative, and it keeps you in that grey unhealthy spot.  I understand that sometimes that stuff just needs to come out, but instead of exploding or infecting others with it, you can jot it down on a piece of paper and come back to it later when you can turn your attention to it and any possible resolutions.


Number two:  This one might be easier than the first on this list but it's no less important.  Make it a point to greet strangers you see on the street with a smile and a simple "hello" or a "good morning."  It feels great to receive pleasantries and it feels just as good to notice the effects they have on people.  I do this all the time and sometimes the smiles I get are worth a mint.


Number three:  Try slowing your response time when having a conversation.  This is a step you might not normally think about but when you're talking to someone and they're quick to respond, you'll notice the tension rise.  Take a conversation where the people involved fire off responses like a tennis volley, and you've got a conversation that could quickly turn into an argument or at the very least, bring stress levels up higher than they should be.  This applies to online as well.  I've been guilty of expecting a sudden response because I've gotten used to the "instant gratification" that technology has given us.  Now that I'm learning to relax, realize that it isn't crucial to get the response right away... just as it isn't crucial to give one.


Number four:  Try laughing more.  I used to tell people that I wasn't a fan of comedies.  They's shake their heads in disbelief and say, " but you're such a funny guy... what do you mean you don't like comedies?"  I'd have to explain that I was always disappointed with the comedies of today because none of them made me laugh.  My trouble back then was that I wouldn't allow myself to find something funny in the films that I'd watch.  You can find something funny in everything.  These days, I'm watching movies I wouldn't have before and I'm playing more and more practical jokes and... I am allowing myself to laugh.  I laugh at myself and and everything around me, and I feel better for it.  Also, when others see you laughing, they won't be able to help laughing as well.


Number five:  You might have seen this coming but #5 is something I've been promoting for about a month.  Share something good.  There is always something good around us, we just don't always choose to see it.  Make it a point to share a funny story or tell someone in your life some of the good things that surround you.  Trust me, doing this will prove to be very effective.  I post my good things on Facebook all the time and the response is really amazing.  It's something that's branched off to others beyond my original expectations and they're passing it on to their friends.  Every day I get emails thanking me for the positive posts and every time it makes me smile to know I've made a difference.

Good Things Always Come Back

When you pull into a grocery store parking lot and a man comes up to you asking for change, how do you usually respond?  If you're like me, most of the time you dismiss them and say "sorry."  I would love to be able to feed the homeless in my town with whatever extra change I have but the truth is, there is no extra change.  And I'll admit that when I see the same woman asking for change for three years straight claiming she's pregnant and needs to feed her unborn child, it gets annoying.  What I'd like to do is give that woman some tips on how to pan handle more effectively but that isn't really the right thing to do, is it?


I actually enjoy giving these people money when I can, but I'm picky about who I choose to help.  Years ago, I befriended several of the homeless wandering around California's Mendocino.  I got to know these guy's stories and I knew what they did with the money they scrounged for.  If I listened to the buzz on the streets, I could hear the wealthy tourists talk about how they know for a fact that these people begging for change for a cup of coffee, actually have homes of their own and drive nice cars.  That is a myth that came from someone too selfish to care about the truth.  I don't think we should have to give these people money... I think it's a personal preference.  It actually makes me feel good to give something if I can.  If I can't, I don't sweat it.  I'd give my homeless pals rides or buy them lunch, and in the simple gestures of kindness, we forged very strong forever lasting bonds.  Once, several years ago, my wife and I were having dinner at a favorite eatery and we noticed a guy sitting in the lawn of this place.  I just walked up to him and handed him $10.  He was extremely grateful.  We went in and had dinner and I didn't think about it again until we were leaving and he came up to me with this little wire cross that he twisted together just for me.  There was talent in that man.  I've seen craftsmanship like this before at art fairs and I am telling you that I got off pretty cheap for $10.  He also showered me with "thank you" and "God bless you, sir" and I may be wrong in this, but I think it made me happier than it made him.  It felt really good.


Well, just the other day, I saw a man sitting by the grocery store eating noodles in a cup and drinking a nice hot coffee.  He had a rolled up blanket and a suitcase with all his worldly belongings beside him.  As I walked up, I watched him drop his breakfast on the ground and he looked shattered.  Hunger does strange things to people.  It's one of the most desperate feelings known to man.  I reached out and handed this guy $8.  He was very appreciative and when I asked him his name, he paused for a minute.  He said his name was Mac and asked mine.  I told him my name and said that now he could get something to replace the food he lost.  I went in and did my shopping and that was the end of it.  Mac was at the store a few days ago, as well.  When he saw me, he waved and called me by name.  He told me that his name was really Pete but because he didn't know me, he didn't want to tell me who he really was.  I smiled and accepted that for what it was.  He reached into his pocket and pulled out $3.  He said he wanted to pay me back for the money he borrowed from me, the day he dropped his noodles.  Talk abut a tear jerker.  As of the writing of this blog, I am a struggling father with no job, trying to feed my family... but I'm still better off than this man, and here he was trying to pay me back for money he felt was borrowed.  I told him to keep and and I shook his hand.  Now, every time I see him, he waves and he tells people nearby, "that's Eblison!"


You don't have to feed the hungry or cloth the homeless... it isn't your responsibility.  But it helps more than just one person if you do.  I'm not trying to preach or guilt anyone into doing something they don't want to, but I'm telling you that giving to the needy is a good thing... and good things always come back.

Positivity Changes Everything

Eighteen days ago, on April 1st, I started what I call the Tell Me Something Good campaign.  What happened is that I got up in the morning and thought about putting together my Sunday radio show.  I went online to look at the news and read my email.  Fighting in Libya, radiation in Japan, the unemployed in America... what a grey cloud to wake up to.  I immediately turned away from the news online and looked to my friends on Facebook for something more pleasant.  What I got was a newsfeed full of gripes and complaints and personal grievances that made the grey cloud even darker.  Is this what we do now?  Is this how we stay connected to our friends online, by complaining about our annoying neighbors or moaning and groaning about every other little thing that bothers us?  Why spread that grief with the rest of the world?  I understand that people get angry or frustrated with the problems that surround them, but there is this "obligation" some people have to pass that on to everybody else.  So, after reading a handful of negative and upsetting downer Facebook status posts, I decided to look for some good news.  I typed, "tell me something good" into my browser, like I was just blindly reaching into the sky for the answer... and you know what happened?  My prayers were answered by the great internet gods.  I was taken to Lemonade Life where author Allison Blass talked about a classmate in college who, every time they met, would say to her, "Tell me something good."  That is exactly what people should be spreading, not their own personal drama.  So that morning, April 1st, I posed a challenge to all of my Facebook friends.  I asked them to make the first thing they posted something good.  I suggested doing it for 7 days, but since then I've noticed that spreading positivity for a week makes the week go by so quickly.  People read my posts everyday and share their good thing for the day and some have even asked me to start a blog retelling my experiences with this experiment.  Well, here's the blog... though I refuse to call it an experiment.  The Tell Me Something Good campaign is a way of thinking that I hope shifts and reshapes the way we interact with people daily.  It'll help us get through the hard days and it will make the good days great, because positivity changes everything.  So go ahead, tell me something good.